When the Treachery comes

…that’s when the Truth begins to be released! When you have been betrayed, the truth begins to seep out of the crevices through light. It’s amazing how bright your now situation which becomes such revealing scenery, feels like unchartered territory! Then you just have to laugh because the foolery, lies, deceit, hatefulness, being just plain ol’ evil comes in many different forms. Some that have been created just to make your daily living miserable. Some to just create a Major tragedy that causes your life to drastically change forever. Or that once in a lifetime encounter that you will never forget because it causes you to taint all your relationships.

When the Treachery comes, there is nothing that you can do about it. It was a dotted sequence within your life timeline. Meaning – It was the inevitable.

You have a right to be shocked at the moment. However, don’t become too shocked for too long. Then you will remain in that world of deceit. And if you’re not careful, the ones who have created it for you, will leave you there, stuck & have moved onto their next subject.

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Going through a…

Going through a breakup is a hard thing to do. Going through a divorce is even harder. Letting Go can be rough but in times necessary. I’m going through. However while walking through this treacherous shade, I want to make sure that I learn something from it.

‘In the Meantime’ is a phrase that’s often used to those people who are right smack dab in transition. That could be from one life to the next or from one project to the next. Which ever one it is, you have to focus on something while your transitioning process is taking place. That’s one of the reasons for this blog. So I can have my meantime moments right here in the grey areas.

Yesterday was a tremendously crying day for me. I have no family here or even access to friends. So I cried for the first time while listening to Toni Braxton’s “Why should I Care” over & over on repeat. So while cleaning my house, I kept having those breakdown moments of ugliness, slob & uncontrollable weeping.

After all of that, I jumped in the shower for a 3x ritual, got out & into my hair & makeup. Made it an easy breezy day. That was therapeutic within itself.

It’s taking me almost 4 months to cry over a beyond dead relationship of 11 years. I guess because every night while we lived together, I curled up & cried myself to sleep. Every night. Silently.

So to allow myself the freedom to cry out loud within the comforts of my own home was sooo Liberating. Painful yet liberating. I believe that its a jurisdiction that we should all be able to create for ourselves.

So if you haven’t cried yet, go right ahead. Give yourself the permission to do so. It’s just you the four walls and God. Trust me it feels good.

Oh I forgot. After all the crying, find something that brings you joy. It’s called balance.

Two…

How do you do it? How does the mind become locked? Better yet, who contains and holds the rights to the key?

I believe that everyone was born with a key to their mind. The angular that holds on to your most precious memories. Your opinionated verbage. The optimistic visions. The prisms of nature at its best. All within the parameters of your mind.

So who has the key to your mind?

My mind was locked up for years. By an unknown being who I allowed to take over. Someone who was known but then lurked away with the key into the shadows of the dark. I couldn’t find him for years. Searching and searching to just ask for my key back. So I practiced. “Can I please have my key back? I promise that I will think the thoughts that you wish for me! Just give me a chance to at least turn the key.”

I found him. I asked. But he didn’t. And he wouldn’t. He had the key. He had the control. And I had to submit.

So I sobbed. I became depressed. Then I created a thought.

Then I created a thought!

It made me laugh to myself. I smirked. I smirked for a long time. Then my teeth began to show. Oh don’t show the teeth because if you do then he will take that thought away. So I rubbed away the smile. I kept rubbing away until I couldn’t rub no more. He’s not going to take her key too. He can’t. I won’t let him, like I let mine.

So now, I have a thought and a memory. Two that I had created. Two that he had no key to unlock them with. Two that he could not control. So I guess that means I made a spare.

“I first find out about …

“I first find out about myself through Loving myself first.”

~CoreaE.